As the commentators spoke about America's Dominique Dawes, they
mentioned how she'd grown a whole five inches (12.7 cm) since the last
Olympic Games. It was only later that they explained she'd gone from
four-foot-seven (1.397 m) and 75 pounds (34.1 kg) to five-foot-nothing
(1.524 m) and 90 pounds (40.9 kg).
But that was pretty big when China's gang of eight-year-olds came out
on the floor. Okay, they weren't that young, but they were so small.
I kept expecting a house to fall on their coach. All along, John Tesh
was calling them "the little..." and "the tiny..." I was actually
yelling at the TV: "Thanks for overstating the obvious. Now give us
some dang numbers!"
Some men watch Women's Gymnastics because it is, shall we say...
"stimulating." But first, I tend to like women who are of voting age
or older, so that cut out most of the gymnasts. And another thing I
like is height. The taller the better. Yet as they discussed a
Russian gymnast who was five-foot-four and a half (1.63 m), they said
that if she grew any more, she'd no longer be able to compete in
all-around events. That's pretty much the cap. And since I didn't
find her attractive, I'd eliminated just about everyone but Svetlana
Boginskaya. And as good looking as she is, that's not enough to make
me watch hours of gymnastics. So there had to be something else.
Could it be that these diminuitive ladies are incredible athletes and
I was awestruck by their amazing talent? Could it be that this is a
sport that has enough drama and tension to capture and hold my
interest? Yes on both. But there was one more thing that aided in my
channel choice. My other options were home-shopping, a re-run of
"Night Court," and a movie about the Beach Boys. In comparison, even
Olympic bass fishing would have been dramatic.
So for the next couple of weeks I'll be watching the Olympics. Not
because of the drama and intensity. Not because of the thrill of
international competition. Not even for Svetlana Boginskaya or a
couple of German women I spotted at today's swimming relay when I
flipped away from the HBO airing of "Body Slam," a low-budget comedy
about professional wrestling. I'll be watching the Olympics for one
reason and one reason only... everything else sucks.
If the U.S. men take gold in Middleweight Boxing, I win an Arch Deluxe
at McDonalds. Therefore I'm rooting for the Ukraine. But Sunday I
found myself watching what most men were watching... Women's
Gymnastics.
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