NEW HUMOR AND SITES FROM GREG BULMASH

The thing that really fascinates me about many vulgarities is that they are completely abstract and euphemistic. Even though people consider them vulgar, they contain no "dirty" words and can be said without any "dirty" intent. In fact, the vulgar meaning is not inherent in the statements at all. It's entirely in the mind of the person hearing them.

Thus I'd like to present some statements that are so totally innocent you could say them in church. If you find this article dirty, it's your fault.

"I choked my chicken, then cooked it and ate it for dinner."

"Now I'm not knocking boots, mind you..."

"Come on, Bob. Show her your nuts."

"Hey, Joanne, nice apples."

"I don't advocate cruelty to animals. But spanking your monkey is merely a disciplinary act."

"Anyone who would do that has got to be a little queer."

"I heard Sarah was selling her ass."

"Have you gone over to Bill's farm and seen that huge cock of his?"

"While Howard was jogging through West Hollywood, he got fagged."

"You'll just feel a tiny prick in your mouth."

"It was the strangest plastic surgery I ever saw. Dave went out and got himself a little tail."

"Here pussy. Heeere pussy."

And straight out of Alice In Wonderland... "Eat me."