NEW HUMOR AND SITES FROM GREG BULMASH

Language is an ever-evolving thing and even the best lexicographers can't keep up with the new meanings that words take on. The following is an ever-expanding by-no-means-canonical list of words and terms whose meanings I feel must be recorded for posterity's sake.

album (n); 1 - maternal torture device, brought out and used to embarrass you in front of friends; 2 - a collection of recorded audio selections, generally containing the one or two good ones that got you to buy it and then a bunch of crap to fill up the rest of the space.

ass (n); 1 - what you make of yourself after drinking too much tequila; 2 - what gets kicked following making one of yourself.

ax (v); a request or command that precedes a query, e.g. "let me ax you a question."

boring (adj); describes any story ending with "I guess you had to be there."

boss (adj); a descriptive term used by people who are stuck in a previous decade. (see also neat-o, keen, groovy)

bug (n); 1 - an insect; 2 - something found quite often in Microsoft products. (see also feature)

copier (n); a photographic reproduction device used by bored or drunken employees to make many copies of their various body parts.

coriolis force (n); a term only understood by scientists, but which can be thrown into conversations to explain bad aim and make you look smart.

Corinthian (adj); 1 - a style of ancient Greek architecture; 2 - a style of leather favored by Ricardo Montalban.

debut (n); 1 - a first public appearance; 2 - deting you sit on.

deceit (n); 1 - the art of lying or causing confusion; 2 - deting you put debut in when you sit.

dictum (v); past tense, what you did to a losing opponent in a business transaction, e.g. "I dictum."

e-mail (n); a manner of sending a lot of people a lot of useless information very quickly.

embark (n); the sound made by a dog with a cleft palate.

flame (v); to prove either via public post or private e-mail that you are a complete and utter idiot.