NEW HUMOR AND SITES FROM GREG BULMASH

Sitting here, listening to some Frampton, I thought I'd answer that backlog of mail. If you've got a question you'd like answered, just drop it in e-mail, or use the instant feedback or reader survey forms at the GBHP web site...

Do bad pets go to Hell?

As a matter of fact there are separate Hells for most common housepets. For example:

Cat Hell - A giant house, hundreds of rooms, no kitchen, and the periodic sound of a can opener.

What is the best way to get rid of the hiccups?

Tell them you love them.

Is that really your picture in the icon bar?

Actually, it's the picture that came with the web site. After intense investigation, I have found that the man in the picture is one Mr. Fabio Schwartz, a part time model and dental floss rancher from Montana.

What do I get for filling out the reader survey?

An incredible sense of accomplishment.

Ever since I was a little kid, I've been afraid of clowns. I know I shouldn't be, but I am. How can I get over this?

The treatment for many phobias is to slowly and gradually begin confronting your fear in small increments until you can handle it.

I'd suggest starting with street mimes. Go out, find one, and thrash him soundly. You'll soon learn that mimes can't hurt you. Beat up a few more mimes and then move up to birthday clowns. Once you've kicked enough mime and clown butt, you'll no longer be afraid. Plus you'll have done all the rest of us a really big favor.