NEW HUMOR AND SITES FROM GREG BULMASH

The following program contains subject matter that may not be appropriate for younger listeners. If you have any children listening to the show... Put them to bed!! It's 1 a.m.!! What kind of parent are you?

Yes, you guessed it, during my senior year in college, I was... gasp... a late night DJ. I did a two-hour show once a week, music and comedy. And amazingly, I played almost all of it from my own collection. That's the real confession here... I'm a CD junkie.

It began simply enough. I had just been told I was going to get the DJ gig, so I decided to beef up my meager CD collection because CD's didn't hiss over the air like tapes did, plus my old Falco tape was getting a little ragged. I'd never bought used before, but I heard CD's were nearly indestructible, and used CD's were cheap. I came away with the mother lode.

But that wasn't enough. I needed more music. Then I chanced upon a magazine with ads for BMG and Columbia House. I joined both. 19 CD's came in the mail within weeks and I was only obligated to buy six more at regular club prices plus shipping and handling, then I'd get three more free. Then I could quit and start over again.

I'd cruise the local stores. Compilations from the 80's were my main thing. When I heard "Come On Eileen" for the first time in years, I was in heaven. Names came back from my past. Names like Kajagoogoo, Corey Hart, The Bangles, Sparks... I was wearing my sunglasses at night because I was too shy-shy to be seen walking like an Egyptian in cool places. And then came the discovery like no other... It's A Sunshine Day: The Hits of The Brady Bunch.

I was high for a week. But then I had to buy more. Supertramp, Steely Dan, BTO, Lynyrd Skynyrd. 80's wasn't enough. I was going after the 70's too. And the greatest prizes were found when I trolled the used rack for the really obscure stuff. When I found a Martini Ranch CD with "How Can The Laboring Man Find Time For Self-Culture"... that kept me stable for ten days. Gene Simmon's solo album from the Kiss years... six days. Styx's greatest hits... two days, because "Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto" only goes so far.

I was out of college, no radio show to use as an excuse, and I was still buying. The credit cards were maxed. There were a few new things from the Columbia House re-ups, but mainly it was all 70's and 80's, with a good smattering of comedy. But I couldn't give it up. Friends would come by to get a nostalgia fix. I was the most popular guy at parties when I brought in the CD case from the car. It got to the point where I'd take any CD I could get. On the day I accepted a free Yanni disc. That's when I knew I'd hit bottom.

That was enough to really shock me. I mean, come on... Yanni? I've been almost completely sober since. My family still gives me gift certificates at Christmas so I can go get a CD or two. I have someone screen my mail and throw away the "we want you to come back" letters from those pushers at Columbia House. And whenever the urge to buy more CD's hits really hard, I just put on that Yanni disc. Generally, by the time I come out of the coma, the urge has passed.