NEW HUMOR AND SITES FROM GREG BULMASH

A new reader recently wrote regarding one of my humorous poems and criticized it's poetic quality. I am not a poet. I am a humorist. What he did is like criticizing a dog who walks on his hind legs for having bad posture. (A) You're missing the whole point of the trick. (B) Your criticism is meaningless to the dog.

That is why I am announcing a new business with the script for my first commercial...

FADE IN:

A man drinks from a glass of yellow liquid as a friend stands nearby.

Man 1:

Yuck. This beer tastes like urine.

Man 2:

Bob, that is urine.

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Two nerdy high school guys pass a cheerleader in a hallway.

Guy 1:

Hi Heather.

Heather acknowledges the greeting by rolling her eyes in disgust. Guy 1 gets an excited look on his face.

Guy 1:

She likes me!

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Greg stands in front of a strip-mall storefront.

Greg:

Do you know people like this? People who have absolutely no clue whatsoever?

The camera moves back to show the sign above the store.

Greg:

Then come to The Clue Center. Our trained staff can help.

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An employee and a male patient are sitting in a nice office.

Employee 1:

Listen, shmuck, I'm gonna explain it one more time... Everyone can tell it's a toupee.

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An employee and a female patient sit at a table with a toy car and a dollhouse on it.

Employee 2:

This is a car. This is a house. The house is where you put your make-up on. Not the car. Or this could happen.

The employee rams the toy car into the side of the dollhouse.

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Greg stands in front of a sign, holding a pointer.

Greg:

At The Clue Center, we'll teach you how to... think before you act... think before you speak... And for repeat customers, we'll teach you how to just think.

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A scientific laboratory where Dr. Melvin Splonk faces the camera.

Splonk:

The Clue Center is great. Now that I shower every day, people talk to me... even when they don't have to!

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A living room. A plain-looking woman sits on a couch.

Woman:

After just one visit to The Clue Center, I stopped waiting for Mel Gibson to call and started dating men who actually know I exist. You guys are wonderful!

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The Clue Center logo, address, and phone number.

Voice Over:

If you or someone you love needs a clue. Don't wait. Call The Clue Center now.

Greg appears in a box below the logo.

Greg:

We're the thick-skull experts!

FADE OUT: