NEW HUMOR AND SITES FROM GREG BULMASH

I'm very disappointed. I went and shelled out good money to see "Twister" this weekend. It's not because I wanted to see the special effects or Helen Hunt in a tight tank top for two hours. It's because my cousin was in it. And I'd like to nominate him for an academy award in a new category... Best Supporting Scenery.

He plays a member of Helen Hunt's storm chasing team. In the very beginning of the movie, Bill Paxton walks by him and says hello to him. He returns the greeting. This is about the only intelligible line he has in the film. They paid him an obscene amount of money, had him on location for months, and if you're not really looking for him, he has less impact on the moviegoing experience than a flying tractor.

Okay, he was necessary. The team needed a certain number of members. And since the team was in a lot of shots, he had to be on location for a while. But I'm sort of peeved. In a year of actually working I make less than he made for just... well... filling space.

I'm proud of him nonetheless. His last big movie was "A League Of Their Own" and in that, if you blinked twice, you chanced missing him altogether. In "Twister" you'd probably have to blink a bunch of times and duck out to the bathroom at least once.

So here's three public cheers for my cuz. He ain't a scene stealer, but he's the best damn scene filler I've ever seen... well, besides the flying tractor that is.