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May 30, 1996
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THE TOP 10 THINGS YOU'D RATHER NOT KNOW
There are many things in life that should really be kept on a need-to-know basis. This is not because they're big secrets, but because they're things you'd really rather not think about... ever. And thus, with the forewarning that this may get a little gross, I shall endeavor to help the sensibility impaired with a list of...
Return To 1996 Archive
And the #1 thing you'd rather not know...
- How heavy the flow is today.
- That your friend got laid this weekend (this mainly applies when you didn't).
- The precise or even general details of what a fart smelled like.
- How someone who approaches you on the street "found Jesus."
- The chunkiness factors of vomit.
- How good looking you'd be if you just lost a little weight.
- How a circumcision is performed.
- What your friends who just had a baby did with the placenta.
- The last time your grandfather was "regular."
What your parents intend to do with the whip and handcuffs hidden under their bed.
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